


it's something

by randomtuna13 (belindarimbi13)



Category: Andrew Hozier-Byrne (Musician), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Crack Crossover, Hozier Met Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Male Friendship, Non Canonical Immortal, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 06:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/randomtuna13
Summary: Hozier never meant to eavesdrop.But, two figures who stood not too far from his position quite intrigued him.





	it's something

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [it's something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19430038) by [randomtuna13 (belindarimbi13)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/randomtuna13). 



> **disclaimer & note:**
> 
>   * Good Omens is a novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gailman, adapted into a TV series by BBC and Amazon Prime and directed by Douglas MacKinnon.
> 
>   * Andrew Hozier-Byrne (or better known as Hozier) is a musician, singer, and songwriter. Hozier is a free and independent individual. This fanwork is written without any intention of insulting or vilifying anyone. All of Hozier's opinions in this story are fictional, and do not reflect Hozier's true opinions.
> 
>   * The full title of this fanfiction was inspired by From Eden, which was popularized by Hozier & is part of the album Hozier (2014); written by Andrew Hozier-Byrne.
> 
>   * The author does not take any material advantage from writing this fanfiction.
> 
> 


**it's something.**

_something tragic, something magic; something lonesome, something wholesome_

* * *

Eternity is an exaggeration.

Of course, only immortal beings can voice such statement. The concept of 'forever' will feel very different when you were already involved in it. You might dream of staying young, but you would come to the point where having wrinkles and looking old are luxurious. You would feel left out because your immortality would cancel all of your weaknesses as a human being, but wouldn't eliminate the humanity in you. Such trivial things like having grey hair and wrinkled skin become something that is impossible for you.

Behind all the glorification of eternity, there is an expensive price to pay by losing your privilege as a human being.

Did you know what Hozier hate the most?

He had so much free time.

Sure, that was Hozier's main goal when he decided to live forever. Infinity was very tempting. Imagine, being able to compose so many musics, to write so many song, without expiration date. Creativity that would not be limited to seconds, minutes, and hours. Even days, months, and years, if he wanted.

Being eternal to avoid mortality was the literal form of coming out from the frying pan, straight into the fire. It would backfire eventually. Hozier only needed a spoonful of time, but he already drank the entire hourglass. A curse in disguise, indeed.

He used to create songs for himself. Some silly poems, followed by melodious tapping on the table. It became trying notes on the piano, until finally he played the guitar. He experimented with many types of music. You name it, Hozier had learned it. He had time to do that. It's not his fault, if no one knows that he actually played the harp, quite well. Hozier never told anyone.

Okay, actually he told someone.

Only once.

But it was one of the few events that had changed the course of his life. One that played an important role in making him, who he is today.

Once upon a time, he told a demon, named Anthony.

**i**.

Keep in mind, that Hozier never identified himself as something that was not human. He was human, inside and out. Well ... he could live longer than the average human, but that was not the point. Hozier was a human and would still consider himself as one.

He still remembered the first time he met Anthony J. Crowley.

Hozier had just been commissioned to compose songs for a church. But the inspiration wouldn't come to him, when he was distracted by horse carts and writing among the cries of his landlord's children didn't help. Hozier's flat was not an ideal place at that time.

So, armed with bread, a note, and a pen, he took the initiative to visit St. James Park. He might be able to find a shady tree, far enough from ducks and people, and would finally be able to write about Jesus the shepherd and his sheep. Hozier might be eternal, but he was not rich and still needed money (he had to be an immortal being first,t know this).

He came at the wrong time. Too many people scattered everywhere, from the benches to every surface of the grass were crowded with visitors who have the same mind as Hozier, which is to visit St. James Park. Grumbling in defeat, he decided to stand on the edge of the lake, minding his own business, and occasionally shredding the bread for the swimming ducks in front of him.

Hozier never meant to eavesdrop.

But, two figures who stood not too far from his position quite intrigued him. Two men, standing by the lake, feeding the ducks, and chatting casually. A normal scene, although Hozier had to blink several times because he was sure, the man in a shiny black suit and matching sunglasses, killed one of the ducks–until the said duck quacked hard and swam away hurriedly. _Must be an optical illusion_ , he thought. Hozier blamed his breakfast.

The two men suddenly raised their voices, and from their gestures, it's clear they were fighting. Hozier could not read the expression of the man with black glasses, but he could see the expression of his companion, the man in white suit. If Hozier did not know better, he would say that what the Black said really scared the White. Hozier leaned sideways hoping to hear more, but what he caught was just a few nonsense words. _Pears_ , _insurance_ , and _suicide pill._

 _Oh, God. They must be spies_ , he thought.

They processed to debate about something else, something about fraternising with a demon, was unacceptable for an angel. Apparently the name code of their secret society was Heaven and Hell. Very lame and uncreative, in his opinion. But what could he possibly say? He had never joined any secret organisation.

Hozier did not realize he was caught eavesdropping, until the Black Suit took the bread from his hand.

"How much do you hear?" He asked in casual tone, with no threatening tone in his voice. His long fingers were elegantly chunking the bread into tiny pieces. Hozier looked around, but he did not see the White Suit anywhere.

"Uh," Hozier didn't know what to say. "not as much as you think." And because he was stupid and impulsive, he felt the need to add, "You can't do anything to me. Nobody can kill me."

The Black Suit just snorted. "Yes, I know. I'm surprised Aziraphale didn't feel the presence of other supernatural creatures nearby."

"Your debate is quite intense," said Hozier lightly. Although he could not see because it was blocked by the dark lens, he suspected the Black Suit glared at him.

"You're not a spy for Heaven or Hell, aren't you?" The Black Suit, suddenly leaned closer. He hissed sharply. "I don't care what kind of creature you are, but if you open your mouth about our meeting—"

"Calm down," Hozier interrupted, cupping his hand near his mouth. "First, nobody should know that I'm not human. For God's sake, I even still consider myself a human. Don't call me supernatural creature. Make me shiver, do you think I'm a ghost?"

Hozier was now one hundred percent certain that the Black glared at him.

"Second, it's been difficult already to live as a human who has all the time in the world. Guaranteed long life. I don't need to have more problems with other people."

"Demon"

"What?"

The Black throws a piece of bread. "I'm not people. I'm a demon."

Hozier blinked. "Oh, I've never met a demon before." He offered out his hand automatically. "Hozier."

The Black frowned. "What?"

"My name, Hozier."

The devil considered it for a moment to before finally throwing his last bread crumbs and making a decision.

"Anthony."

**ii**.

If Hozier thought that being an eternal human was complicated, he had obviously never been a demon.

His meeting with Anthony had lead to an interesting discussion about music, and wow ... if Hozier could die someday, he would like to end up in Hell. The list of musicians mentioned by Anthony alone was enough to convince him. Of course, to end up in Hell, it meant he had to do a lot of sins. But Hozier was sure it wouldn't be so hard to do.

"All the musicians?" Hozier looked at Anthony with such admiration, as if Anthony was the personification of Jesus. This thought made him giggle. "Including church music composers?"

"Most musicians," Anthony corrected, sipping his wine. "You will be surprised to know how many of the most religious composers actually end up in our department."

"It sounds like a nice place," Hozier commented, drunk enough to not realize that the Hell he imagined was just a general picture of Heaven in red palette.

"Yeah, wait until you get tortured, and then we'll talk." Anthony sounded ... upset. As if Hozier's desire to be in Hell was considered as something that offended him personally. This confused Hozier, because as a demon, shouldn't Anthony be glad he could lead humans to take voluntary trips on the path of Satan?

"Don't be mad at me," Hozier said, reminding him. Something flashed behind Anthony's glasses. "You have a problem with Aziraphale, don't dump on to me."

"Don't mention his name again!" Anthony drank his wine in haste. He suddenly stood up and stretched his arms. "I'm here to work, tempting you to sin."

Hozier giggled again. "Yes, I can see that."

Anthony took off his hat and grabbed some blank sheets. "You doubt my ability to slip satanic messages in Christian songs? I used to hang out with many famous musicians." He mentioned a series of names for the second time.

Hozier gasped. "You're kidding me." The names he mentioned, were definitely the musicians that you might not expect to end up being residents of Hell.

Anthony smirked devilishly.

With his foggy mind, Hozier was too way distracted by Anthony's red hair, so he agreed to whatever the demon had said, at that time.

The songs they worked on together would later emerge as the most compulsory song in one of the largest satanic church in England. And everyone will recognize the name of this church, when the time comes.

**iii**.

It took seventy-nine years for Halley's comet to cross the earth again. Of course this was wrong. The time cycle of Halley's comet to pass across the earth was about seventy-six years. But, for once, let Hozier consider Anthony as the personification of this astronomical event.

"Oh, hello to you, too," he said automatically as he opened the door and found Anthony standing in front of his house. Hozier no longer lived in a small flat in the slums of London, he had moved to much quieter area, bit isolated, far from the crowds. His house was big enough to be occupied by all the residents of his old flat building. Hozier should never underestimate the amount of money the church was willing to pay for several gospel songs.

"Nice house." Anthony commented, waving his right hand around. Hozier saw his left hand carrying a black bag.

Hozier laughed. "Only the best for the church music hero." He pointed at Anthony's bag. "What is that?"

"Wine," he answered. "Can I come in?"

Hozier opened the door wider to let the demon in and follow him to the sitting room.

"Give me the wine, I'll get the glass."

Anthony took out two dark-coloured bottles and gave them to Hozier. He glanced at the label printed there and whistled, impressed. The wines were high-quality ones.

Soon, they were sitting facing the fireplace and sipping their own respective glasses. Anthony did not take off his sunglasses even after he was indoor. Nothing much had changed from the demon. Well, maybe he looked better without his ridiculous tall hat and his poorly trimmed beard. Anthony was now wearing a black fedora and it was clear he taking a good care of himself. His sunglasses were still faithfully perched on his nose. It seemed that Hozier would never get a chance to see Anthony without them.

"I see that you are using your talent well." Anthony broke the silence. "I don't smell the presence of rats around here."

Hozier snorted. He still remembered when they first drank wine together in his small flat, and two rats running around their feet. Not a nice thing he'd like to remember. "Ha ha, so funny," he replied sarcastically. Anthony grinned with satisfaction. Hozier decided to remove his grin by asking, "What do you want from me?"

Anthony's eyebrows raised. "Why does everyone always think that I possibly want something?"

"You're a demon, that's what you do."

"I'm a demon, not a loan shark," Anthony said, filling his glass again.

"Anthony, I'm probably just a human, but even I know that you're a really bad liar."

"You're not human."

"If you call me a supernatural creature _again_ , Anthony–"

"Don't call me that," he interrupted.

"What?"

"My name is Crowley." He swirled his glass slowly. "Anthony is my 'human' name. You don't know how difficult it is to be involved in human affairs if you don't have a first name, middle name, or last name. I only use it for disguise. My real name is Crowley."

"Oh, I won't know. Anthony sounds right for you."

Hozier's sarcastic tone didn't go unnoticed. Crowley scoffed.

"Very well, _Crowley_ ," Hozier continued. "Stop stalling, and tell me why you're coming here."

"Simply to socialize."

"You? Socializing?" Hozier chuckled in disbelief. "You haven't visited me since seventy years ago. Why now? There must be something."

"Of course not," Crowley said quickly. Hozier said nothing, but his judgmental gaze rendered the demon to speak again. "I don't know! I don't want to go back to Hell and hang out with Hastur and Ligur. I'm not in mood to do any tempting. I can go back to my flat, but there's nothing there. I'm bored!"

"So ... you don't want to be alone."

Crowley muttered something under his breathe.

"What about Aziraphale?"

Crowley tensed visibly. "What about him?"

"Your friend, Aziraphale. I thought you guys, were frenemy or something." Hozier poured more wine.

" _Frenemy_?"

"Well, you know, like a combination of friend and enemy. Some kind of fair-weather friend who happens to be your rival." Hozier sipped his wine, before his eyes widened. "Wait a minute, don't tell me that you haven't talked to each other since the incident in St. James Park ..."

"Of course we talk!" Crowley grumbled something at the end of his sentence, but Hozier couldn't catch it. "I'll have you know that I just met him yesterday. The fool conspired with Nazi double agent for saving some old books, placing himself in a dangerous situation. For Hell's sake, right when I thought he couldn't be more stupid ..."

"Okay, you two met yesterday. And then?" Crowley frowned, confused. "I mean, what are you doing here, Crowley? I'm sure, despite all your complaints, you will still prefer to spend your time with Aziraphale. We haven't met again since seventy years ago. I'm not lying when I said I'm surprised to see you. Thought you were gone, I don't know, for good. I didn't expect, you would visit me again."

"It's complicated." Crowley hissed, annoyed.

"I am an eternal human, complicated is my middle name," Hozier said.

"Fine. We fought."

"Uh, wow, no surprise."

"Shut up." Hozier knew Crowley glared at him. "Do you want me to tell you or not?"

"Okay, okay, please do continue."

And then, Hozier heard the strangest story he had ever heard in his life. Crowley, the demon, volunteered to break into the church, to save an angel. He couldn't even laugh when Crowley grumbled about being inside a consecrated building was like walking on a beach, in the middle of summer, in barefoot. Crowley did it all for the sake of the angel, Aziraphale. For 'the fool who spends time endangering himself'. For 'the fool who apparently didn't like Crowley's human name'.

"So little faith in me." Crowley scoffed. "Of course I will save the books. He couldn't stop mourning when the Library of Alexandria was on fire, you know. I don't want to see him moping like that again."

"What happened after that?"

"I drove him home."

"And?"

"And, nothing. The story's over." Hozier was pretty sure, Crowley avoided looking directly at him.

"Crowley."

Crowley is still focusing on the fireplace. "I drove him, we parted our ways. The end."

" _Crowley_."

"Fine!" Crowley gulped his wine. "I kissed him!"

"Oh, really?" Hozier smirked.

"I can't stand it, okay? Aziraphale keeps smiling at me and his stupid face–his face–he was _beaming_. He keeps chattering excitedly about the divination books and whatnot. I just act on impulses."

"He slapped you?"

"Not after he returned my kiss."

"Sorry?" Hozier blinked.

"It's so confusing, right? I mean, three seconds we were kissing and the next second his palm landed on my face."

"Ow."

"That's understatement. It's more like," Anthony breathed, "OUCH!"

Hozier rolled his eyes. "Then, you run away? To me? Finally remember that you have a friend to confide in?"

"We are not friends." Crowley interjected. "We're not even acquaintances or colleagues. I don't know why I came here. Between you and hell, I really don't want to go back to the underworld."

"Whatever makes you happy, Crowley," Hozier responded coyly.

After that, he did not speak again. Neither did Crowley. The fire were still cracking, echoed in the quiet room. It felt timeless, eternal like these two people that sitting next to each other. Hozier had just poured wine for himself again, when he realized Crowley was not moving. His hands stretched down–so close to the carpeted floor, holding an empty wine glass. His breathing evened out. Hozier was surprised that the demon was breathing regularly and was deep in slumber.

To be fair, he did not know demons could fall asleep.

Hozier smiled against his will, then he stood up and took the empty glass from Crowley's hand to put it on the table. Crowley didn't look so much like a hell incarnation in his sleep. He looked just like an ordinary man, who was too exhausted then fell asleep accidentally on the sofa.

And only one expression represented his face now.

Peaceful.

Hozier blinked. If he was a painter, he would undoubtedly take a canvas and brush to paint the devil. But because he was a musician, his reflex was to grab some blank papers and pen.

He began to write a song

**iv**.

Armed with Crowley's story about Aziraphale's obsession on books and his greatest desire to open his own bookshop, Hozier could already imagine what the _A.Z. Fell & Co._ would look like. Aziraphale was the stereotype of a true librarian; old building, with towering stacks of books, that could be seen from the window, and his own appearance as the owner.

Hozier knew Crowley's reason for wearing sunglasses was to hide his inhuman snake eyes. However, Aziraphale wore glasses while reading, even though he didn't need to since he was an angel, probably was the most cliché in his attempt to live his role as a bookshop owner.

"Um, hello?" he said, while opening the door slowly. Aziraphale was standing in the corner of the room, turning his head. "I'm looking for Mr. Fell?"

A smile bloomed on the angel's face. "Oh, that's ol' me. What can I do for you?"

As a musician who had had his career since–well, since forever, Hozier almost never felt nervous. The bright side of being an eternal human, was that he never need to worry because he literally had nothing to lose. Hozier and 'relaxed' were like soulmates. He managed to be so modest when he handed his gospel songs which actually double as satanic songs, to the oblivious church. Hozier was the personification of the word 'relaxed'.

However, standing in front of Aziraphale, _that_ angel, agitated him.

Considering what he might say to Aziraphale and the risks that Hozier might bear, it actually made sense.

"Mr. Fell, my name is Andrew Byrne," Hozier lied smoothly. As a very wise demon once said, _the art of lying is to tell the half of the truth_. It was bit ironic that Hozier using that against him. "I'm sorry to bother you. I wouldn't, unless it's very urgent."

Aziraphale burrowed his eyebrows, his hand slowly closed the book he was holding and turned his attention on Hozier. "A precarious situation? What happened?"

"Do you know any Anthony?"

"Anthony?" He thought for a while. "Oh, yes. Anthony Hopkins, he owns the coffee shop at the end of this block. I don't really fancy the coffee, but he always serves good tea for me. I also know Anthony Robbins, he's a supplier of ancient Egyptian scrolls. He is very stingy, but the quality of the documents he provides is always authentic, not to mention in good condition. Or maybe what you mean—"

"How about Anthony J. Crowley?"

"Crowley?" Aziraphale's chipper voice immediately changed, his expression turned cold. "I know him. What about it?"

"Crowley is planning something, and I'm worried about his safety," Hozier said. Aziraphale visibly paled. "Mr. Fell, you are my last resort to stop him."

An hour later, the 'CLOSE' sign had hung at the door of the Aziraphale bookshop.

**v**.

"... and he said, _you're too fast for me, Crowley_! How fast is too fast? I just sped up when it was needed! And never, I repeat, I _never_ hit anyone!"

The demon pulled his hair frustratedly. Hozier did not understand most of Crowley's grumbling, but he suspected it had to be related to Aziraphale and Crowley's failed plan to break into the church. Instead of interrupting the demon's monologue, Hozier busied himself by inspecting the tartan patterned thermos that Crowley had put carefully on the table.

"Don't unscrew the cap!" Crowley scolded, snatching the thermos from Hozier's hand. "It's from Aziraphale, he can't possibly deceive me for this important matter."

"How do you know? Isn't he actually against your plan?"

In an instant, Crowley's hand grabbed his collar. Crowley still wore his sunglasses. In the dim light, he could not see what was behind the dark lens. Hozier had feelings, he'd be better not to see it.

"Listen to me, eternal human," Crowley hissed. "There is only one thing you need to know, and it is that Aziraphale never lies to me."

"O-okay, I'm just asking—"

"Your suspicion is a big mistake." Crowley roughly removed his hand from Hozier's collar. He stood and held the thermos tartan close to his chest. "Don't waste your time doubting Aziraphale."

Hozier blinked. And the next second, he was alone in his sitting room. His collar still crumpled.

**note.**

  * Crowley is a vengeful man. He remembers everyone who had failed him, disappointed him. As a devil, taking revenge is very common thing to do, but Crowley doesn't do it. For some reasons, it actually feels worse.

  * Hozier's music career is getting bleak. He fully realizes that this is entirely his own fault. However, thinking that Crowley is actually behind all of this somehow comforts him very much.

  * For the first time, Hozier decides to go hibernating. He plans to skip the whole century.

  * To nobody's surprise, the plan fails (again, Hozier entertains himself with the idea that Crowley is the culprit).

  * Mastered in the art of lying, with very convincing acting, and his musical talent, he travels to Dublin and enrols in a music school.

  * Hozier joins an orchestra and starts his music career from the scratch, _again_.

  * The original title of [Take Me to Church](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hozier/takemetochurch.html) is actually _Crowley Breaking into the Church for Aziraphale_ ( ~~is he that stupid or just whipped?~~ ).

  * When his team brainstorming about the concept of the music video, Hozier immediately rejects the idea of using the theme of Heaven and Hell. _For reasons_ , he says.

  * Crowley is never seen again and Hozier never crosses the path with the demon, but the existence of Take Me To Church made him bit better. This is Hozier, offering the olive branch.

  * The original title from [From Eden](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hozier/fromeden.html) is actually _I May Be Too Fast For You_. It sounds too lame and cheesy. Hozier decides to replace it with something more substantial (which is actually pretty telling that the song was written based on Crowley's experience).

  * Hozier dedicates his first album to Crowley and Aziraphale. Nobody knows this. Hozier can only wish that he will be famous enough, for them to recognize the songs.

  * In fact, there is no feedback or whatever from the demon and the angel.

  * ... until, a few years later.

  * Aziraphale doesn't like _Take Me to Church_ because the song making him feel dirty and wrong for luring the demon into the church. That is quite incorrect. Crowley balks at his objection.

  * Crowley doesn't like _From Eden_ and his face turns so red when Hozier tells them the background of the song writing–wisely, he doesn't mention the original title. Although Aziraphale initially feels sad to hear the story, he smiles so wide when he realizes that the song makes Crowley blush

  * Apparently, Aziraphale keeps his words to not mention that Hozier was the one who leaked Crowley's plan, five decades ago. To thank him, Hozier promises the angel one song in as a gift.

  * People who know Hozier will form three opinions on him: that he is an English, that he is an eternal being, and that he is a messenger of God. Of those three statements, there are only two that are true.



  * ~~Crowley and Aziraphale don't need to know that~~.




• **fin** •

**Author's Note:**

> > The story is based on this [post](https://belindarimbi13.tumblr.com/post/185795254245/purplendicular-re-bee-key-lovercrowley) .
>> 
>> Timeline:
>> 
>>   * No one knows when Hozier was born and since when he became an immortal man on this earth.
>> 
>>   * Part **i & ii** : in 1862.
>> 
>>   * Part **iii** : in 1941. (fun fact: the term gospel song was not used until [1874](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_music) and I took some liberty to use the term frenemy which should be first popularized in [1953](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenemy))
>> 
>>   * Part **iv & v** : in 1967.
>> 
>>   * **Note section** : varies. Take Me To Church was released in 2013, while From Eden was released in 2014 ([x](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hozier_\(musician\))); Crowley and Aziraphale did not meet Hozier again until 2019, after the Armageddon was averted.
>> 
>> 

> 
> ~~You know, having my own sandbox is my goal since a long time.~~
> 
> There is a lot that can be explored from a simple idea: _what if it turns out that Hozier really is an immortal being and he happens to know Crowley?_
> 
> That idea haunted me for weeks, and even made me unable to stop playing Hozier's songs on Spotify afterwards. I just know by then, that I have to write this story myself.
> 
> I have never combined fiction and real-person before, and at first, it was so hard for me to write this because I wasn't used to the weird combination and I was too busy second-guessing myself, then I thought, screw this, I'll write what I want.
> 
> I'm open to suggestions and critisms, so don't hesitate to leave some.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for sparing your time to read this! Kudos and reviews are very welcomed, also 100% guaranteed to brighten my day ♥
> 
> I'm also available in [Twitter](https://twitter.com/belindarimbi13/), hit me up!


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